Hi, I'm LJ Laubenheimer, Generalist and Iconoclast.

Our society is trapped in between several religiously held beliefs on how things should be done. Many of these boil down to:

• We do it this way because we have ALWAYS done it that way, and
• We must do it a different way because the new way will be K00L and the old way is OLD

Have A Look At My Resume!

I am now looking for a new long term position. I will happily consider any opportunities you might have that need a multitalented geek who likes to play with the toys. I tend to enjoy jobs that seem to be going well and good geeky fun, and I work long term. My primary field is system administration (Linux - RedHet and Debian), and I also do Perl and Bash (shell) programming, but have written/modified code in about 16 different programming or macro languages. I also firmly believe in documentation and cross training. (Resume in MS Word (docx), ASCII Text and PDF formats, too.)

I sat down and wrote up my rant on Unrealistic Recruiters and Job Ads. It's not pretty, but serious recruiters might take a look at it to get a sense of why their desires for applicants aren't being met.

Oh, by the way, The "Ability To Lift 50 Pounds" Is NOT A Sysadmin Skill. There are very few cases where it is actually required, the rest are an excuse for discrimination. Also, it might surprise you What A Person With Hemiparesis Can Do!

A Perl of great value...

Yes, I'm a Perl and Bash hack. Its philosophy of "there's more than one way to do anything in Perl" fits in with my distaste for the rigidity of thought that is often found in the high tech field. There are even more Perl links on my links page (although some may have died), plus... Code snippets! PixStrip For stripping those pesky graphics references out of weblogs, assuming they are all in a variant of the same "pix" or "images" directory. Some random gists

Sysadmin Toolkit

Geek bonus! Free programs, scripts & stuff. As I clean up and upload some of my scriptoid bits out of my toolkit, they'll be here. I haul these around from job to job, so you might as well have them too.

• Log Rotator
• Security Checker or even better see chkrootkit.org for a more thorough version of rootkit hunting. Note: This doesn't check everything. Be secure from the start.

How-To & Crib Notes

When I figure out things, I like to note them down for others, too. So here are some crib notes and how-to guides that I've tossed together.

• Getting SSH for Windows
• A quick and dirty How-To on Key Based Authentication in SSH

Consulting Services

I've been a contractor for so many agencies and diverse companies that I am will accept consulting jobs, either in my "free" time or when I am between regular, long term jobs. My rates vary depending on what you need me to do and how urgent it is. I am willing to negotiate for larger jobs.

• For basic HTML work, I charge $50/hr.
• Perl scripting, graphics and form design are $80/hr.
• Troubleshooting and fixing problems is $100/hr.
• For site design please ask for a quote.

Please note that there is a 50% surcharge for "emergency" and "rush" work. If I have to lose sleep, it costs more. Also be aware that "on site" work may incur travel charges (billed at the standard mileage rates plus parking fees and tolls.)

Find Anything Helpful?

Consider sending me some money! Work is thin in this area (SF Bay Area - not the best place to be in a jobs slump), and I need all I can get to keep my creditors happy! I take PayPal.

Note for "Website Consultants" who want to sell me services

GFY. I don't need you to "improve" my website.

• It loads just fine on mobile devices.
• It resizes just fine on large or small monitors.
• It has no crappy javascipt or flash.
• It has no ads or pop-ups.
• Yes, the background image is oooooold, but I like it.
• It doesn't have columns or other non-liquid crap
• It has no menus that won't display right on mobile.
• It has no hard to read sans serif fonts (I hate Arial/Helvetica/etc.)

If I wanted a trashy corporate Facebook looking clone, I would program it myself. I've been writing HTML since 1997. If you don't have, personally, at least 20 years making web pages, go soak your head.

Miscellany...

Want to know what I look like? Here's my mug shot and a few stats. Just another chubby nerd...

E-mail me with questions, comments, snide remarks and job offers. Remember to reassemble the email address before sending.

Here is the obligatory page of interesting links.

Get informed about what is happening to the US:

Why Too Kay? Here and Gone! But COVID-19 is here!

Y2K disasters were a no-show. I'm glad. However, we aren't out of the woods yet, (especially in California) and won't be. Why?? Because any time we are totally dependant on an infrastructure we are vulnerable to failures of that infrastructure. This was the real "lesson" of Y2K. Then the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina drove it home another lesson: We shouldn't depend on "the government" to bail us out in event of a disaster. This includes human caused disruption (i.e. terrorism and/or government overreaction).

Between wildfires and evacuations every summer, "Public Service Power Shutoffs" by PG&E and rotating outages, plus winter flooding and now COVID-19 supply chain disruptions, emergency preparation is an everyday thing now.

Do you want to put aside supplies for a "disaster", but are afraid you'll turn into some sort of survivalist whacko with a big enough arsenal to supply a small army? Check my Y2K page for some rational discussion of the subject, and why general preparedness is a good idea.

Page created: March 28, 2000. Page last changed/tweaked on 03/20/2022